| We were sitting here trying, as usual, to figure out how | | | | demonstrate how we think he or she should swing. In |
| today's America, saddled with the burdens of | | | | other words, we'd shy away from intervention, except |
| inadvertent empire, could conduct itself in the world so | | | | when the player breaks the usual rules of the game or |
| Americans are happy about how we're doing and the | | | | becomes excessively rowdy. Then we might give the |
| rest of the world might actually either approve or have | | | | offender a warning and, if that fails to moderate the |
| a hard time disapproving of our behavior. We finally hit | | | | behavior, invoke whatever legitimate power we have |
| on an answer that's so moronic we knew right away it | | | | to eject the troublemaker from the game. |
| has real potential. | | | | We'd also know, like any competent ref, to let the |
| We behave as if we're the American Umpire, that is, | | | | overall game go on as best as the players can |
| we call the balls and strikes in the global games based | | | | perform, while we may, if we choose, cast a smile at |
| on the principle we've all grown up with, can | | | | the winners or a sympathetic look at the losers. And |
| understand, and most of the world even admires: fair | | | | when another nation hits a homer, we certainly |
| play. | | | | wouldn't attempt to trip the runner while he rounds the |
| And, being the ump, we expect the players to respond | | | | bases. |
| with good sportsmanship, no matter which way the | | | | And coincidence of coincidences. No sooner did we |
| calls go. | | | | approve the cartoon to illustrate this simple but super |
| Needless to say, part of this easily understandable and | | | | principle than we saw confirmation that it has real |
| highly commendable modus operandi requires us to call | | | | possibilities. The following headline, from the Associated |
| the balls and strikes fairly on ourselves, too, even when | | | | Press, appeared on Yahoo: "Bush To Referee Karzai, |
| Uncle Sam strikes out. | | | | Musharraf Dinner." |
| Of course, you can advance more intellectual principles | | | | No matter what our feelings are about Bush's overall |
| by which we should conduct ourselves as the world's | | | | performance, we sensed he would do well. Although |
| super-duper power. But we think behaving as if we're | | | | we doubt he had the specific inspiration in mind of |
| the American Umpire is the principle that most | | | | being the ump, just having grown up with a sense of |
| Americans can understand and be proud to be part of | | | | fair play would help make him comfortable in such a |
| and that can lead to conduct on the part of the USA | | | | role. |
| that encourages other nations to cheer us on. | | | | Apparently, he refereed admirably. The three agreed |
| In the land of Yankee Stadium, we learn from the time | | | | to increase their cooperation in fighting terrorism. |
| we're children about the necessity for fair play and the | | | | As Musharraf said, "The meeting that I held with |
| demands of good sportsmanship. What American kid | | | | President Bush and Hamid Karzai last night was very |
| hasn't had to make terms with the fact that the ump | | | | good. It was decided that we should have a common |
| just called strike three, maybe even with the bases | | | | strategy. We have to fight terrorism. We have to |
| loaded, that roughing the kicker just resulted in a | | | | defeat it, defeat it jointly." |
| penalty, or that committing the fifth foul of an important | | | | That's quite a departure from the usual ways |
| basketball game landed the player on the bench, like it | | | | Musharraf and Karzai have pointed their fingers at |
| or not. | | | | each other. But the players still had a hard time making |
| Even if we moderate or lose our interest in sports | | | | nice. At the press conference that followed the dinner, |
| when we become adults, most of us still retain our | | | | the two shook the ump's hand but couldn't bring |
| sense of fair play. | | | | themselves to shake each other's. What was missing? |
| Of course, many other nations have a highly | | | | You guessed it. A little more good sportsmanship. |
| developed sense of fair play, particularly, we think, | | | | But a couple of days later, we noted that Hamid |
| England, which may help explain why the UK and the | | | | Karzai announced that he and Musharraf will jointly |
| US often agree on policy. | | | | lead a series of tribal meetings along their common |
| But look high and low around the globe and tell us how | | | | border in an attempt to decrease attacks on |
| many countries you detect with an allegiance to the | | | | Afghanistan by the Pakistan-based Taliban. Is that |
| principle that is more ingrained than it is in America. At | | | | progress or what? And the American Umpire played a |
| any rate, it's so much a part of the persona of the | | | | positive role. |
| gringo that it qualifies as an inviting alternative to our | | | | Lest you believe we are mindlessly advocating a |
| present uncertainty and ineptitude. | | | | problematic solution, we can only say that the very |
| In fact, if you look at a lot of the world, particularly its | | | | idea that it presents any semblance of superiority over |
| "cleverer" locales, you notice that as an operating | | | | our present international conduct says more than |
| principle fair play doesn't have much of a place. The | | | | enough to justifiy mountains of enthusiasm. |
| frequent modus is trying to win by hook, crook, or | | | | So, whatever you do, do not underestimate this idiotic |
| even murder. What prevails is thinking small quickly, | | | | principle. Remember the saying, whether or not |
| instead of big fairly, sort of like a scurrying bug on a | | | | Wellington actually coined it, "Napoleon was defeated |
| table top. What the wise onlooker knows to do is | | | | on the playing fields of Eton." And we've got at least |
| watch and, at just the right moment, brush it away or | | | | as much training as the limeys do on playing fields all |
| outright swat the critter. | | | | across the land of the Yankee. |
| The concept can also guide us away from our worst | | | | The preseason warm ups are over. It's time for the |
| international missteps. When we see ourselves as | | | | regular season to begin. So let's hear the American |
| calling the balls and strikes as fairly as we can, we'd | | | | Umpire call, "Let's play ball!" |
| know to let the batters swing the way they want to. | | | | It would be especially winning to see the President |
| We wouldn't reach over, grab the bat, and | | | | throw out the first ball. |