The 7 Habits of Highly Horrible Networkers

Networking is a term that didn't exist (academically)microphone, lunged at the table and snatched the
until almost 40 years ago. It's a word uttered in andburning business card from the candle! As I toppled
around the business world every day, yet is unclear toover the chair in front of me I yelled something to the
most as to how it actually works. Still, it's aeffect of "Oh my God!" shook the flames off my half
fundamental tool to the success of any business.Byburnt card and regained my balance to a roaring
definition, the term networking is the development andapplause/laughter from the audience."And...uh...this just
maintenance of mutually valuable relationships. It's notgoes to show you ladies and gentleman," I fumbled,
schmoozing; it's not just handing out business cards,"When you deal the deck of business cards without
selling, marketing or small talk. Those activities are parteye contact or consideration...uh...people may as well
of networking, but unfortunately, many people'sset them on fire - because they're not going to read
misunderstanding of the term causes them networkthem anyway!"Whew! Nice save, huh? Yeah well, that
ineffectively.The following are The 7 Habits of Highlyclient did NOT invite me back the following year.Habit
Horrible Networkers (TM) , and they can stand in the in#4: Unprofessional Information
your way of developing mutually valuable relationships.It's remarkable how often some business cards will
So, next time you attend your Chamber or Associationcontain unprofessional information. Have you ever
meeting, keep these ideas in mind so you can offerreceived someone's card with one of those
the most value to your fellow networkers.Habit #1:ambiguous, offensive and questionable email
Attitudeaddresses with AOL, Hotmail or Yahoo? Not only are
Much like the development of any skill, networkingthose email servers frustrating and ineffective for
begins with attitude. Unfortunately, Highly Horriblebusiness communication, but just imagine how it looks
Networkers have the wrong attitude. If you've everwhen someone has to send business emails
attended a networking function before, perhaps you've
encountered businesspeople who act in the followingI have nothing against AOL, Hotmail or Yahoo. But if
ways:The hard sell - they believe networking is aboutpossible, always send and receive emails using the
one thing and one thing only: selling products andaddress of your organization's website, i.e., If you must
services to everyone in the room.Business only -use free servers like MSN, SBC and the like, choose a
they're not there to make friends. They're not there tosimple username that doesn't question your
have fun. And they're certainly not interested inprofessionalism, i.e., Habit #4: Sit with the Wrong
developing mutually valuable relationships.It's all aboutCompany
me - they don't take the time to help and share withI'll never forget my first Chamber meeting. One
others, but rather focus on their own needs. In otherafternoon I sat down with 6 other local businesspeople
words, they can't spell "N-E-T-W-O-R-K-I-N-G" withoutfor our monthly networking lunch. Naturally, the first
"I."Attitude is fundamental to effective networking. Inthing I did was look at everyone's nametags. (Not only
fact, it's the most important habit to understand.Habitto learn their names but to examine the effectiveness
#2: Dig Your Well WHEN You're Thirstyof their nametags' design and placement.)But these
One of my favorite networking books is called Digwere the nametags I saw: ADM Financial, ADM
Your Well Before You're Thirsty, by Harvey McKay.Financial, ADM Financial, ADM Financial, ADM Financial,
It's probably the most well known text on this subject.ADM Financial, Scott. (Company name changed to
The key to McKay's work is making your friends,protect the victims.)Highly Horrible networkers not only
establishing contacts and developing relationships -attend meetings with their friends and/or coworkers,
before you need them. Getting what you want bybut they talk and sit with them the entire time! These
helping others get what they want first.Enter the Highlyare people with whom they've worked 5 days a
Horrible Networkers, who only network because:a)week, 8 hours a day for the past 3 years! This is not a
They need new customersgood technique to maximize your company's
b) They have a new product or service to sellvisibility.This habit creates an elitist, unfriendly attitude.
c) Their boss forced them to do soTake my friendAnd think how uncomfortable this makes the one or
Lawrence, for example. He's quite successful in thetwo people sitting at the table who don't work for that
insurance business; however he recently approachedcompany! It's unfair to them because they're unable to
me about using networking to obtain some hotmeet a diverse group of people with whom to develop
leads."My numbers are down. My boss is on my back. Imutually valuable relationships! Remember: If you're
gotta get out there and start networking...or else! Whatsitting with YOUR company - you're sitting with the
do you suggest?""Networking takes time," I explained,WRONG company.Habit #6: Small Talk is for Suckers
"and you can't expect to come into loads of businessHighly Horrible Networkers forget about the small talk.
or dozens of potential clients without developing theIt's a waste of their time. They don't ask or answer
relationships first."As you already learned, networking isabout "New and exciting things happening at work" or
the development and maintenance of mutually valuable"How Thanksgiving was," they simply jump right into
relationships...over time. If you try to dig your well(what they believe to be) the most important part of
WHEN you're thirsty, you may never find a drink.Habitthe discussion: selling 17 of their products before the
#3: Dealin' the Decksalad arrives.Has this ever happened to you? For
Habit #3 is a dangerous one, and it happens all theexample, has someone ever introduced themselves,
time. Have you ever seen people distribute 173 of theirbreezed right through the conversation and flat out
business cards during the first 5 minutes of the event?asked you for a referral?Refer you? I don't even
They move as quickly as possible from one person toknow you!Reciprocating self-disclosure is the most
the next. They don't make eye contact, they don't askeffective way to build rapport and ultimately develop
to exchange cards - they just deal them out."Here'strust. The people you want to do business with are
my card, call me if you need a designer! See yathose with whom you have built that rapport and trust.
later.""But...I...never even got your name!" you muse.ThisSo, small talk is not for suckers. Debra Fine, author of
is guaranteed to make people feel puny andThe Fine Art of Small Talk put it best when she said:
insignificant. Notice these Highly Horrible Networkers"Small talk is the biggest talk we do."Habit #7:
don't spend time actually meeting and establishingLimitations
rapport with new people; but rather concentrate onFinally, Highly Horrible Networkers believe there is only
giving out as many cards as possible. It's quantity overone specific time and place for networking. It's called
quality, right?Wrong.Dealin' the Deck is one of the most"A Room with A Sign Posted Outside That Says So."
common networking pet peeves. Whenever I give myIn other words, they only network when someone
program The Habits of Highly Horrible Networkersforces them to. They don't believe networking
(TM) , I walk out into the audience for a quickopportunities in places like elevators, busses,
demonstration of this habit. I grab a stack of businesssupermarkets or parks.That's it? A measly half hour
cards and quickly jump from table to table tossing outfor networking? Doesn't give you much time, does
dozens of them without as much looking at theit?The truth about networking is that it can happen
audience members I'm handing them to.Unfortunatelyanytime, anywhere. There is a time and a place for
during one speech, it backfired.Literally.Last year, I wasnetworking - it's called ANY time, and ANY
demonstrating Highly Horrible Habit #3 when speakingplace.© 2005 All Rights Reserved.Scott Ginsberg
at a local business meeting. While hopping from tableis a professional speaker, "The World's Foremost
to table as dozens of cards flew through the air andExpert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO my
into people's laps and salads, someone yelled out, "Ohname is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He
my God!"I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked back athelps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and
the head table and noticed that one of my cardsbecome UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one
landed in the centerpiece......which was a candle!MYconversation at a time.
BUSINESS CARD WAS ON FIRE!!I threw down the