| This weekend you need to head up into | | | | the middle of Thanksgiving dinner? That |
| your attic to get some work done. You | | | | is neither here nor there. |
| need to pull some wire for the final | | | | All these troubles are certainly worth |
| touches on your sound system. You know | | | | it. You just got the collector's edition |
| you need to get it done. It's the last | | | | of “Dawn of the Dead” last |
| part of your dream home theater system | | | | Tuesday. You know, the edition with 20 |
| that needs work. Most of your speaker | | | | hours of director's commentary, deleted |
| setup is on the money, but the weak | | | | scenes, making and storyboards. The |
| point of your system is the center | | | | sooner the speakers are done, the sooner |
| channel speaker and your two rear | | | | you can watch a zombie movie the way it |
| channel speakers. Well, my friend, this | | | | was intended to be seen, sorry, |
| is the weekend to get those issues | | | | experienced. |
| sorted out. Home theater bliss is on its | | | | Then you're watching the toob, sipping a |
| way. | | | | frosty beverage and you see an |
| You know how to pull wire – how to | | | | infomercial talking about a ladder. Not |
| get the measurements and all that. And | | | | just some crummy normal ladder, but a |
| the setup of the system is not a | | | | man's ladder. The Little Giant ladder is |
| problem. That's what 15-year-olds are | | | | the means to an end. A classic zombie |
| for. But the actually pulling the wire | | | | movie. So you go and pick one up from |
| in from your receiver to the actual | | | | your local hardware giant. You're |
| speakers could pose a problem. Not that | | | | instantly able to get into the attic and |
| you don't have the skills to do it. | | | | get that speaker wire pulled. The ladder |
| You're completely confident with that | | | | helped get you into the attic, and it |
| – you're a man's man. But you need | | | | helped you get your stuff done in a |
| to have the right tools to do the job. | | | | minimal time. See you'd love to spend |
| But up until now, you haven't found the | | | | your Saturday crab crawling around in |
| tool that will let you do your work in | | | | your spiderhole of an attic, but you've |
| such a small space. You need a multi-use | | | | got some extra-butter popcorn waiting |
| attic ladder that will prevent you from | | | | for you. That and a La-Z-Boy. That said, |
| stepping through your ceiling into your | | | | you got your home theater dialed in. |
| dining room. You don't need a Clark | | | | Speakers and all. If you weren't such a |
| Griswold situation to tarnish your near | | | | man's man, you'd probably shed a tear or |
| flawless home improvement track record. | | | | two at the sheer beauty of the whole |
| And it is near flawless. Near. Who could | | | | thing. But you're a MAN, and you've got |
| have known that that chandelier you | | | | some zombie films to watch. And you've |
| installed was way too heavy for your | | | | got nothing to thank than your sheer |
| ceiling? And furthermore, who could have | | | | genius and a Little Giant Ladder to |
| predicted that the ceiling would choose | | | | thank. Happy DVD-extra watching. |
| not to support the chandelier right in | | | | |