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The 7 Habits of Highly Horrible Networkers

Networking is a term that didn't existBUSINESS CARD WAS ON FIRE!!I threw down the
(academically) until almost 40 years ago.microphone, lunged at the table and snatched
It's a word uttered in and around thethe burning business card from the candle! As
business world every day, yet is unclear toI toppled over the chair in front of me I
most as to how it actually works. Still, it'syelled something to the effect of "Oh my
a fundamental tool to the success of anyGod!" shook the flames off my half burnt card
business.By definition, the term networkingand regained my balance to a roaring applause
is the development and maintenance oflaughter from the audience."And...uh...this
mutually valuable relationships. It's notjust goes to show you ladies and gentleman,"
schmoozing; it's not just handing outI fumbled, "When you deal the deck of
business cards, selling, marketing or smallbusiness cards without eye contact or
talk. Those activities are part ofconsideration...uh...people may as well set
networking, but unfortunately, many people'sthem on fire - because they're not going to
misunderstanding of the term causes themread them anyway!"Whew! Nice save, huh?
network ineffectively.The following are The 7Yeah well, that client did NOT invite me back
Habits of Highly Horrible Networkers (TM) ,the following year.Habit #4: Unprofessional
and they can stand in the in your way ofInformation
developing mutually valuable relationships.
So, next time you attend your Chamber orIt's remarkable how often some business
Association meeting, keep these ideas in mindcards will contain unprofessional
so you can offer the most value to yourinformation. Have you ever received someone's
fellow  networkers.Habit  #1:  Attitudecard with one of those ambiguous, offensive
and questionable email addresses with AOL,
Much like the development of any skill,Hotmail or Yahoo? Not only are those email
networking begins with attitude.servers frustrating and ineffective for
Unfortunately, Highly Horrible Networkersbusiness communication, but just imagine how
have the wrong attitude. If you've everit looks when someone has to send business
attended a networking function before,emails
perhaps you've encountered businesspeople who
act in the following ways:The hard sell -
they believe networking is about one thing
and one thing only: selling products andI have nothing against AOL, Hotmail or
services to everyone in the room.BusinessYahoo. But if possible, always send and
only - they're not there to make friends.receive emails using the address of your
They're not there to have fun. And they'reorganization's website, i.e., If you must
certainly not interested in developinguse free servers like MSN, SBC and the like,
mutually valuable relationships.It's allchoose a simple username that doesn't
about me - they don't take the time to helpquestion your professionalism, i.e., Habit
and share with others, but rather focus on#4:  Sit  with  the  Wrong  Company
their own needs. In other words, they can't
spell "N-E-T-W-O-R-K-I-N-G" withoutI'll never forget my first Chamber meeting.
"I."Attitude is fundamental to effectiveOne afternoon I sat down with 6 other local
networking. In fact, it's the most importantbusinesspeople for our monthly networking
habit to understand.Habit #2: Dig Your Welllunch. Naturally, the first thing I did was
WHEN  You're  Thirstylook at everyone's nametags. (Not only to
learn their names but to examine the
One of my favorite networking books iseffectiveness of their nametags' design and
called Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty,placement.)But these were the nametags I saw:
by Harvey McKay. It's probably the most wellADM Financial, ADM Financial, ADM Financial,
known text on this subject. The key toADM Financial, ADM Financial, ADM Financial,
McKay's work is making your friends,Scott. (Company name changed to protect the
establishing contacts and developingvictims.)Highly Horrible networkers not only
relationships - before you need them. Gettingattend meetings with their friends and/or
what you want by helping others get what theycoworkers, but they talk and sit with them
want first.Enter the Highly Horriblethe entire time! These are people with whom
Networkers, who only network because:a) Theythey've worked 5 days a week, 8 hours a day
need  new  customersfor the past 3 years! This is not a good
technique to maximize your company's
b) They have a new product or service tovisibility.This habit creates an elitist,
sellunfriendly attitude. And think how
uncomfortable this makes the one or two
c) Their boss forced them to do soTake mypeople sitting at the table who don't work
friend Lawrence, for example. He's quitefor that company! It's unfair to them because
successful in the insurance business; howeverthey're unable to meet a diverse group of
he recently approached me about usingpeople with whom to develop mutually valuable
networking to obtain some hot leads."Myrelationships! Remember: If you're sitting
numbers are down. My boss is on my back. Iwith YOUR company - you're sitting with the
gotta get out there and start networking...orWRONG company.Habit #6: Small Talk is for
else! What do you suggest?""Networking takesSuckers
time," I explained, "and you can't expect to
come into loads of business or dozens ofHighly Horrible Networkers forget about the
potential clients without developing thesmall talk. It's a waste of their time. They
relationships first."As you already learned,don't ask or answer about "New and exciting
networking is the development and maintenancethings happening at work" or "How
of mutually valuable relationships...overThanksgiving was," they simply jump right
time. If you try to dig your well WHEN you'reinto (what they believe to be) the most
thirsty, you may never find a drink.Habit #3:important part of the discussion: selling 17
Dealin'  the  Deckof their products before the salad
arrives.Has this ever happened to you? For
Habit #3 is a dangerous one, and it happensexample, has someone ever introduced
all the time. Have you ever seen peoplethemselves, breezed right through the
distribute 173 of their business cards duringconversation and flat out asked you for a
the first 5 minutes of the event? They movereferral?Refer you? I don't even know
as quickly as possible from one person to theyou!Reciprocating self-disclosure is the most
next. They don't make eye contact, they don'teffective way to build rapport and ultimately
ask to exchange cards - they just deal themdevelop trust. The people you want to do
out."Here's my card, call me if you need abusiness with are those with whom you have
designer! See ya later.""But...I...never evenbuilt that rapport and trust. So, small talk
got your name!" you muse.This is guaranteedis not for suckers. Debra Fine, author of The
to make people feel puny and insignificant.Fine Art of Small Talk put it best when she
Notice these Highly Horrible Networkers don'tsaid: "Small talk is the biggest talk we
spend time actually meeting and establishingdo."Habit  #7:  Limitations
rapport with new people; but rather
concentrate on giving out as many cards asFinally, Highly Horrible Networkers believe
possible. It's quantity over quality,there is only one specific time and place for
right?Wrong.Dealin' the Deck is one of thenetworking. It's called "A Room with A Sign
most common networking pet peeves. Whenever IPosted Outside That Says So." In other words,
give my program The Habits of Highly Horriblethey only network when someone forces them
Networkers (TM) , I walk out into theto. They don't believe networking
audience for a quick demonstration of thisopportunities in places like elevators,
habit. I grab a stack of business cards andbusses, supermarkets or parks.That's it? A
quickly jump from table to table tossing outmeasly half hour for networking? Doesn't give
dozens of them without as much looking at theyou much time, does it?The truth about
audience members I'm handing themnetworking is that it can happen anytime,
to.Unfortunately during one speech, itanywhere. There is a time and a place for
backfired.Literally.Last year, I wasnetworking - it's called ANY time, and ANY
demonstrating Highly Horrible Habit #3 whenplace.© 2005 All Rights Reserved.Scott
speaking at a local business meeting. WhileGinsberg is a professional speaker, "The
hopping from table to table as dozens ofWorld's Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the
cards flew through the air and into people'sauthor of HELLO my name is Scott and The
laps and salads, someone yelled out, "Oh myPower of Approachability. He helps people
God!"I stopped dead in my tracks. I lookedMAXIMIZE their approachability and become
back at the head table and noticed that oneUNFORGETTABLE communicators - one
of my cards landed in theconversation at a time.
centerpiece......which was a candle!MY



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